Just Some Funnies

Q How can a man tell his woman

is too fat for him?
A When she sits on his face,
he can't hear the stereo.


While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside
restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal,
they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her
glasses on the table and she didn't miss them until
they had been driving about twenty minutes.
All the way back to retrieve the glasses,
the husband became the classic grouchy old man.
He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly
during the entire return drive.
The more he chided her -- the more agitated
he became. He just wouldn't let up.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.
As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside
to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled
to her, 'While you're in there, you might as well
get my hat and the credit card!


A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed.
He thought his picture was taken for exceeding
the speed limit, even though he knew he was
not speeding.

Just to be sure, he went around the block and
passed the same spot, driving even more slowly,
but again the camera flashed.

He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed
down even further as he drove past the area, but
the traffic camera flashed yet again.

He tried a fourth time with the same result.
The fifth time he was laughing when the camera \
flashed as he rolled past at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters
in the mail for.........
driving without a seat belt.